Dear Father Wildes,

Father, it’s Christmas time and in the spirit of the holidays, we at The Maroon have put together a wish list for you.

• Since returning to New Orleans, we have been without many of the great things that make this city so special, but one landmark that has been very missed is our St. Charles streetcar line. The line is there, but the streetcar is not. The streetcar provided students a connection to downtown and beyond its transportation function, its aesthetic allure overwhelmed its long delayed ride.

So Father Wildes, we propose a shuttle of another sort. What’s better than a streetcar? An Audi. C’mon, let your hair down and pop that Priest collar like it’s hot.

• Bring on the waves. No, not the hairstyle. Although, if you please, go for it. No, put away the grease. Lets get some airwaves: radio airwaves. The radio is there, the licenses are there and the students are interested.

• More food options. Beyond the Orleans Room and the Underground, our food options are limited. In case students want a change of regiment from baked fish on Fridays or the regular wraps, we’re forced to seek meals outside campus.

• Maybe more relevant: lighten up the course load. During this tune-up to finals, avoid students consuming astronomical amounts of caffeine. Here’s a math equation: There are 200 milligrams of caffeine in one cup of coffee, it takes 300 to kill a mouse and 800 for the average person to go into cardiac arrest. Do us a favor and save the mice.

5) And, maybe not so importantly, a 15,000 seat arena where the Freret Street garage is? Or at least a press box overlooking The Den’s court, the media room fully catered and staffed before, during and after the games? With feeds of the ongoing action/stats on plasma screen TVs that have NFL Sunday Ticket, Full Court Press and Playb… I mean, ESPN?

So Father Wildes, there you have it. We hope that you will remember us in the spirit of giving. Merry Christmas!

-The Maroon