Spellcaster Lodge3052 St. Claude Ave.
The Spellcaster Lodge isn’t real. It exists as its own hallucinogenic experience as a boat-themed dive in the belly of a degenerate whale.
Tucked away behind an inconspicuous storefront minutes from the French Quarter, the Spellcaster poses as an outer space Sno-globe that somehow landed on a pirate ship.
Home of Quintron – the figurehead of New Orleans future funk – the loungey vibe reels in surly hipsters and eccentric neighbors with affordable drinks and live music.
The Spellcaster’s interior includes ticker-tape wallpaper and specially-designed mod furniture (outfitted with subwoofers and speakers, thanks to the electronic know-how of Mr. Quintron). Don’t miss Quintron and Miss Pussycat – the New Orleans duo play frequent sets, showcasing their electric lounge funk to packed crowds. Don’t forget to bring your sea legs.
– Alex Woodward
Saturn Bar3067 St. Claude Ave.Monday through Saturday 4 p.m. – till, Sunday 11 a.m. – till
Across the street, your unfinished, high school art project may have turned out to be the Saturn Bar. Chances are it mutated, along with piles of distorted knickknacks and garage sale leftovers, forming this hideous pile of bricks on St. Claude Avenue.
But you’ll find plenty of eye-candy at this Bywater bar. It has been collecting kitschy junk and ridiculous art since it opened in 1960, offering years of taxidermied animals and plenty of neon to cover nearly every wall (and ceiling) space inside.
Cheap drinks are still a staple, and the jukebox is loaded with classics.
For those missing the campy excess of Nick’s Big Train Bar, Saturn Bar will bring back plenty of memories – even the ones you wish you threw away along with that high school art project.
– Alex Woodward
Mimi’s in the Marigny2601 Royal St.
Instead of greasy Boot pizza being your drunk food of choice, why not switch to jumbo shrimp wrapped in serrano ham, or goat cheese croquetas?
This Royal Street locale is a laid-back neighborhood hang-out with one serious hot and cold tapas menu that leaves any of its buffalo wing-selling contemporaries in the dust.
The best part is you can score these Spanish-style appetizers for about $6 until 2 a.m. to pad a night of libation.
Get an even better deal Sunday through Thursday from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. when the bar offers tapas with a glass of sangria for only $5.
You enjoy your tapas with a glass of wine in an ambient dining atmosphere upstairs or while playing pool in the laid-back downstairs. Both floors exude a come one, come all vibe, attracting everyone from Marigny dwellers to men who wear duck-printed pajama pants (true story).
Bands like Vavavoom and Hot Club of New Orleans frequently play the bar’s upstairs lounge, and DJ Soul Sister spins hard-to-find funk grooves on Saturdays.
With its cheap food, cold drinks and hot music, Mimi’s might be one of the best bars you’ve never been to.
– Lauren LaBorde
Handsome Willy’s218 S. Robertson St.Monday through Wednesday 1 p.m. – 9 p.m., Thursday 1 p.m. – 12 a.m., Friday 1 p.m. – 3 a.m., Saturday 6 p.m. – 1 a.m.
Handsome Willy’s is so secretive, you’re liable to drive right past it if you didn’t know it was there – and even if you know its location, the one-way streets surrounding this Central Business District bar will help you circumvent your destination.
But when you finally arrive at this Storyville brothel-turned-bar, you’ll decide that the extra 15 minutes tacked on to your journey were well worth it.
The drink menu boasts some crazy concoctions at crazy-cheap prices – my personal favorite being the Chocolate City (a spiked milkshake, basically) – and the spacious back patio beckons on fair-weather nights.
Good music is also never in short supply – whether the Jackson 5’s quirky “ABC” is shaking up the speakers, or DJ Tony Skratchere is spinning his mash-ups (and speaking of mash-ups, genre king Girl Talk once played to a tiny audience at Willy’s before his “Night Ripper” days).
If you get tired of the ol’ Thursday’s at F&M’s routine (and you will), go to Willy’s for $1 tacos from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m, then $1 pints for the rest of the evening.
And with its close proximity to the ‘Dome, the bar is the go-to joint for tailgating and post-game celebrations (or drowning one’s sorrows in beer after a nasty loss).
Just be sure to consult MapQuest before heading out the out the door.
– Lauren LaBorde
13 Monaghan’s10 a.m. – 3 a.m.517 Frenchmen St.
Walk into 13, and walls covered with a sundry of random objects – from strange art, to T-shirts, to a golden sphinx head, to a painting of a frontally-nude woman wielding a plate of tater tots – will rise to greet you (think Chili’s with the non-corporate, Frenchmen Street treatment).
The decor is lovably tacky, but the Monaghans’ second bar (the flagship being French Quarter bar Molly’s on the Market) takes its late-night food offerings quite seriously.
Monaghan’s serves its full menu until 4 a.m., making it the ideal start or end to a night of drinking.
The menu is a crowd pleaser, with its breakfast items (served all night) – like the three-egg frittata – and a vast vegetarian selection (the barbequed tofu sandwich sounds intriguing).
Stand-outs include the tater tachos – a mountain of crispy tots covered in cheese and black beans, with salsa and sour cream on the side for dipping – and the pita pizza – warm pita topped with thin layers of marinara and your choice of toppings like goat cheese and artichoke hearts.
And in true best-kept secret style, nothing on the menu is more than $10.
– Lauren LaBorde
Verti Marte1201 Royal St.Open 24 hours
The painted sign above the food counter may instruct customers not to spread the word about this French Quarter gem, but after a sampling of its home-inspired offerings, you’d feel morally opposed to keeping the Gospel of Verti Marte to yourself.
This unassuming Royal Street convenience store has almost elevated to cult status in the city, spawning raving blog posts and countless Craigslist “Missed Connections” concerning a certain bike-riding delivery boy.
It deserves the notoriety, with its dirt-cheap, mouth-watering menu of po-boys, entrees and side dishes and apparently, really attractive staff.
After snaking through the boxed-in aisles, crowded with night owls and a wide selection of wines, beers and anything in between, you’ll find what earns Verti Marte its best-kept secret status – a glass case of gooey macaroni and cheese, messy-in-a-good-way lasagna, huge pieces of chicken parmesan and basically every fattening food you shouldn’t eat but always crave.
Think of it as your mom’s kitchen – if your mom lived in the French Quarter and was a cute delivery boy.
– Lauren LaBorde
