Writing this column has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I’ve been the chief feature writer for this section. I’ve run this section. I’ve run this newspaper. But this column has been the hardest thing I’ve had to do because writing under 500 words on a narrowly focused topic is like asking New Orleans Hornets forward David West to shelve his mid-range jumper, his strong suit.
Delving into topics of epic scope with complicated narrative structures is my mid-range jumper. Editors hate me. But it’s what I got.
To be a good columnist, you must have perspective, opinion and wit. I’ve exhausted that supply, a supply that was scant to begin with. To send you off, I’ve resorted to a cheap awards list I called the Rammies (get it? Rammy, as in Ramon, and it rhymes with Grammy). I don’t mind telling you this. It’s over.
THE RAMMIES
The Award for Spinelessness – The Rammy goes to me. Before I backspaced it out of the original version of “Manning survived the criticism,” I had first predicted Eli Manning would become the most successful quarterback in the family with an upset win over the New England Patriots at the Super Bowl. I chickened out and argued that IF he beat them, he’d have already outdone Peyton and Archie. I’d like to thank the academy and the notorious, “Are the Patriots the best team ever in any sport?” debates that psyched me out as I wrote it.
The “Scholarship for Sports Work” Award – Cue the music from the second level of “Super Mario Bros.” Mario Faranda is the winner. He led the best new athletics men’s basketball team in rebounding while he resided as president of the College of Business Administration, where he’s got the best GPA. To critics who say we aren’t a sport-focused school, so our scholarships should go to top-tier scholars, I present you Faranda, who is both. And so are Luke Zumo, Christine Mainguy, Catherine Blanchard and Carter “Bear” Wurts. But I recognize Mario because he let me write a story on him that a lot of girls liked. Really liked. A lot of girls.
The Best Team in Ages Award – There’s been one basketball team ever in New Orleans to win it all – that was the 1945 Loyola men’s basketball team. But since 1945, no other Loyola athletic team has outdone the women’s basketball team of the last two years. A conference tournament title in 2007. An appearance in the Elite Eight at the national tournament in 2008. The team produced the career scoring leader (Kiely Schork), the conference’s coach of the year (Dobee Plaisance), and a set of All-American twins (Trenell and Trenese Smith). We’re living in an era. Rack’em.
