Opinion: It’s OK to still be a virgin

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Photo by Hannah Renton/Illustration by Gabby Killet

Georgett Hernandez

In this century, the term “Hookup Culture” is seen as a healthy thing that has developed for younger people to express themselves. It most often pressures young adults into having casual sex with no strings attached and without feeling like they are doing something wrong. But how does one embrace this “culture” when you have no experience in it?

So let’s talk about that.

Let’s talk about s-e-x. More precisely, let’s talk about not having sex in college. Since a very young age, we have been fed this idea that if you are not doing “it,” you are not living up to society’s standards. Hollywood has supplied us with the idea that if you still have your v-card, you are a prude. I am here to tell you that that is incorrect and that it is okay if you are not doing it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

We are in a chapter of our lives where we are going to be experiencing many things, and sex may be one of them. Whether it’s your 100th time, your third time, or something you haven’t experienced yet, you will most likely come across it.

But what if you have yet to experience it? How do you go about it?

Being a virgin in college is more common than you think. It’s a subject that is talked about more than you’d expected, and that is fine. But how does one talk about it, especially if one has not done it? How do you deal with being the inexperienced friend in a friend group that is actively having sex with various partners or with their significant others?

Being a virgin in college is nothing to be ashamed of; it just means that you have not done it. It doesn’t mean that you are going to be a virgin your whole life; it just means that you have not found the right time or person to do it.

What does it mean having your v-card in college? For me, it has been a wild experience.

My friend group started with four out of our six friends that still had their v-card, but little by little, they all started losing them. Now it’s just me, and some people might think that this might put me in a situation where I’m wondering what my next move is. My initial thought was that i was getting left behind.

Who would wanna stay friends with someone that was still holding onto her v-card?

I was paranoid. I felt like I needed to lose it. It almost felt like if I wasn’t doing it, I wasn’t worth being part of the group. So I decided that it had to go, we would go out, and I would try to make it happen, but I would always end up backing out.

My mind would be like, “come on do it. There is nothing special about it. Just get it over with it’s like ripping a band-aid off.”

It got to the point where I thought I was never going to lose it. It made me think about how that would affect me and the relationships that I might have in the future.

It wasn’t until one day, one of my friends pulled me aside and talked to me. She was telling me that I shouldn’t be worrying about trying to lose it.

It was then when I realized that I was more than just my v-card. Time will dictate when it is meant to happen.

Don’t feel like you need to try and keep up with anybody. Do what makes you the most comfortable and always do what is best for you.

And don’t ever forget you are never alone and that everyone runs their race at their own pace, don’t try to keep up with anybody else.