I have to start off by saying Gwen Stefani’s new CD, “The Sweet Escape,” isn’t such a sweet escape.
“Hollaback Girl” – good. “Wind It Up” – bad.
Somewhere in the past two years between Gwen’s two albums, she completely lost it. Don’t buy “The Sweet Escape” expecting “Love. Angel. Music. Baby.” They are nothing alike. Most of the songs on Gwen’s first solo album – “Love. Angel. Music. Baby.” – were catchy and tolerable to listen to. Not so much with the new one.
Some of the songs on “The Sweet Escape” I could endure listening to, but not many.
The tracks “The Sweet Escape,” “Early Winter” and “4 In the Morning” are the only songs Gwen gets right.
“The Sweet Escape,” featuring Akon, is one of those songs that makes you want to open the sunroof of your car and sing along. Don’t judge; you do it too. It has a good back beat and isn’t repetitively obnoxious like “Orange County Girl” (We get it, you’re from the O.C.).
“Early Winter” and “4 In the Morning” are those songs that everyone who has ever had a broken heart can relate to. The lyrics are meaningful and the melodies are enchanting – perfect for fixing what someone else broke.
The first single off the album, “Wind It Up,” is a complete disaster. The only time people might actually want to listen to it is at 2 a.m. at Tuck’s on Ladies’ Night. For those of you who don’t know what the main melody in “Wind It Up” is, it’s “The Lonely Goatherd,” probably one of the worst songs from “The Sound of Music.” I mean, really, yodeling is not hot, even if you are Gwen Stefani.
Most of the songs, like “Yummy” and “Don’t Get it Twisted,” have some tacky techno beat that reminds me of really bad 80s music. “Fluorescent” is four minutes of pure misery, and “Wonderful Life” isn’t so wonderful.
The rest of “The Sweet Escape” is filled with monotone screaming that makes you want to toss the CD out of that sun roof you had open earlier.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a Gwen Stefani fan. Middle school wouldn’t have been the same without No Doubt, and she also helped me master the spelling of bananas. But Gwen, do us a favor, never ever do anything like this to us again.
Carolyn Sierichs can be reached at [email protected].
