Hi. My name is __________________, and I am addicted to Facebook. Go ahead, write your name in there. You know who you are.

On Loyola’s campus, as well as on thousands of other college campuses across the nation, there are several confessed “Facebook addicts.”

They constantly check their messages, update their status, change their profile picture, leave friends awkward messages at 3 a.m. and most importantly, stalk high school friends to see if they’ve gotten pregnant, married or fat.

But what you won’t often find on college campuses are self-proclaimed followers of Facebook etiquette.

Many users log into Facebook as a way to pass the time. Many can’t remember what they used to do on the Internet before the popular social networking Web site came along.

But there are several users who take on Facebook almost as a work of art.

His or her profile picture looks like a professional photographer snapped it, every category in his or her personal info is filled out and he or she always have an overly eloquent status.

You might consider this borderline OCD, but having one’s profile in this kind of condition is typical of a Facebook etiquette follower. A Facebook version of Emily Post, if you will.

At Loyola, there is a group consisting of 25 members called “Facebook Etiquette.” Its description reads, “Many people appear to be wholly unaware of proper Facebook etiquette. These simple guidelines are designed to alleviate this particular form of social awkwardness and enhance everyone’s Facebook experience.”

It then lists 12 rules to follow in order to abide by proper etiquette when using Facebook.

Some of the following guidelines are inspired by the rules in the group, but others are necessary to understand how to properly use and enjoy Facebook while keeping manners and appropriate etiquette in mind. They will make Facebook a more pleasurable environment for us all:

PROFILE PHOTO

You better have one. How else is everyone supposed to know if they’re attracted to you or not? OK, maybe that’s a little much, but seriously … what’s with the question mark? It’s not called “Question Mark book,” it’s Facebook.

When you do put a photo up there, make it of you – just you. No one wants to know what your 34 sorority sisters look like. It’s confusing.

Also, it’s not OK if you are holding one of the following things in your posted photo: a joint, a beer, a bong or a plastic cup. You’re in college, yes, but keep it classy.

The “Facebook Etiquette” group also suggests that the photo should really look like you. “Using a picture in which you appear significantly more attractive than you actually are creates confusion and disappointment,” the group says. They also suggest axing the mushy photos of you and your “In a Relationship.”

POKING

Have you ever been on Facebook and someone you don’t know pokes you? What does it mean? If they’re someone of the opposite sex, does that mean they like you or think you’re cute? Should you poke back? Aaaah. It’s enough to make you want to change your status to “Kill me.”

Here is a suggestion that might help you out. If the person is of the opposite sex and you don’t know them, then yes, they probably think you’re attractive and want to be your “friend.” Take advantage of the situation. Poke back.

However, excessive poking is not OK. There is a group at Texas A&M University called “Poke the Balla” that sends messages to its 546 members before each big basketball or football game, telling them to poke the best player on the opposing team.

Because you must remove each poke individually, this can be quite an inconvenience for that player. Too bad for them, but it doesn’t always mean the Aggies will win. At least Loyola doesn’t play A&M, right? Mario Faranda would be pretty ticked off.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS

OK, are you a lesbian or a gay man? Great, put it up in your relationship status. This is the only circumstance in which it is perfectly acceptable to have your relationship status as married, in a relationship or engaged to a member of the same sex.

We all know that you aren’t married to your best friend forever. Save that for real relationships. It doesn’t make you look cool and funny, it makes you look sad and alone.

Everyone knows that you just have nothing better to put up there.

If you don’t want to list yourself as single, don’t list anything at all. Leave it blank. Keep people guessing. But if you do list yourself as in a relationship, make sure that relationship is at least a little solid.

Don’t list it if you and yours are going to fall apart in a few weeks or days.

It is really depressing to press that “Cancel Relationship” button on your profile and everyone will know it’s over, thanks to the mini-feed.

Only list the type of relationship you are in if you are in fact in that kind of relationship. If the person you claim you are complicated with has no idea that it’s complicated with you, you might want to change that. It will only end in embarrassment, a broken heart icon and reverting back to single.

FRIEND OR FOE?

Everyone on Facebook is guilty of the following rule, but it seriously needs to desist before it gets too out of hand.

Do not befriend people who you do not know.

At several big state schools like Oklahoma University and University of Texas, many people will add other Facebookers as friends if they recognize them from high school. Not cool, people.

Did you actually ever speak to them? Do they say hello when you walk by on campus? Didn’t think so. So that is the rule for adding someone as a Facebook friend. If you have spoken to he or she for more than 15 minutes at a time, you may add he or she as a friend.

That girl that you saw from across the party and thought she was hot but were too afraid to talk to her? Not fine, not your friend. No matter what you think, eye contact does not a friendship make.

If you are in the situation where someone requests you as a friend and you have no clue who they are, do yourself a favor and just say no. Just like drugs, but with fake friends.

MESSAGES

There’s not a very in-depth etiquette rule for messages, but just know that you should treat messages like e-mail or that stuff they call real mail with stickers called stamps on it. You need to reply. It’s rude if you don’t. You’re checking Facebook at least 10 times a day anyway, just do it.

ARE YOU OUT THERE?

Lastly, this really isn’t a rule, but the “Facebook Etiquette” group’s last rule, number 12, is a good one to remind people of.

“If you are not on Facebook, that does not mean that people will think you are cool or mysterious. It means no one is thinking about you at all.”

So if you don’t have a Facebook and are thinking about getting one, or if you have one and think it needs a change, please follow these simple rules.

You will become a law-abiding citizen of the Facebook community. Your fellow etiquette-following Facebookers will come to know and love you as one of their own.

If you are good to Facebook, Facebook will be good to you.

Nicole Wroten can be reached at [email protected].