I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I see men treating women in different situations, groups, settings and so on in my day-to-day life. And so I’ll set out to briefly express how I feel men should treat women.

I’ll first start by saying that there is no simple code on how men should treat women. There is no simple way to approach this issue because actions that may seem sweet or respectful to one woman may seem belittling and chauvinistic to another.

For instance, I usually will hold a door open for a woman if the opportunity presents itself. Some women smile and say thanks as if what I did was the right thing to do and to not hold the door open would have been disrespectful. Other women give a dirty look because it annoys them that I would hold the door open for them simply because they are women. What these women really don’t understand is my intentions behind holding the door open. I’m not holding the door open for a woman because I think she cannot open it herself, nor am I holding it open because I think that men should hold the door open for women as a general rule. I hold a door open for a woman because she’s a person just like me. In fact, I usually hold the door open for other men as well.

The way in which men should approach this scenario without being belittling or disrespectful is basically to hold the door open for a woman if it makes sense in the situation. Let a woman hold a door open for you or hold it open for her depending on the situation. But if you wouldn’t hold the door open for another guy, then don’t bother opening the door for a woman. Guys, if you wouldn’t hold a door open for a woman you don’t think is attractive, don’t hold the door just because you think she’s pretty.

Just be equal in your treatment of all women. Even if that treatment comes off as a little belittling to some, at least you’re not a hypocritical jerk who only holds doors open for women you think are cute.

The same idea applies to other daily life scenarios as well. An area that men often get burned in is paying for dates. It seems to be a lose-lose scenario. If you pay for the date, the woman may think that you’re taking the date far more seriously than she is, even when you’re really just trying to be nice. She may also be uncomfortable with you paying because she thinks that you’ll think she owes you something. But if you don’t pay for the date and go dutch, the woman may think you don’t have interest in her as more than a friend or she may simply think you’re a jerk.

The best way to handle this situation, or any situation when dating a woman is simply to be honest and have open communication, even though it may feel awkward at first. Ultimately, all women don’t have a set way they want to be treated by men, other than with respect.

There is no simple code on how men should treat women. The only way we can really move forward as men in how we treat women is to be honest with them, person-to-person, and actually listen to what they have to say. Guys, with that communication in mind, and an equal amount of respect for every woman, we can treat women right.

Nolan Storey is an English writing senior. He can be reached at [email protected]