I’m still waiting for my beer.

Bud Light. Miller. Abita. Actually, could you give me a Red Stripe? Nothing says beer like Jamaican lager.

Last semester, I wrote a column in this very space to try to help people with their relationships, as they relate to watching sports.

Unfortunately, many readers perceived the column as a rant against women. That’s simply not true.

I was really trying to help. Honest.

Still, many people have labeled me a chauvinist.

Some of my colleagues at work read the column and chuckled, not so much because it was funny but because of its absurdity. Several of them told me that I would never have another date in college after the “women-hating” column spread around campus.

As if I had one to begin with.

Anyway, I recently reread the column and still didn’t find it offensive. I constantly repeated that I’m not a chauvinist. I’m just not sure why so many people disliked it.

However, a few readers did give me positive feedback, and get ready to gasp. Some of them were girls. Yes, it’s true.

But I’m here to put all bad feelings aside and be the bigger man.

To make amends for all my injustices, I am writing this as an apology and to give more advice to help solve the women/sports paradox.

The main idea is to help improve relationships and ease any tension that sports television might create.

Here’s a helpful hint to all you ladies out there with a sports-crazed boyfriend. Before making plans to see a movie, have a picnic or watch a recorded Dr. Phil show, check the sports schedule.

Please, don’t make him decide between his favorite team and you. It’s just not fair to him or to the cohesiveness of the relationship.

And it’s not hard to do.

Plan nothing on Sunday (only in the fall) or Saturday, except during the summer.

That’s the basics.

The rest can be taken care of simply by looking at his favorite team’s schedule. I know you like calendars and schedules. Just take a peek at your student planner.

Now, I realize that most of my suggestions only benefit the man, as he has to sacrifice nothing if my advice is heeded.

With that in mind, my next suggestion is beneficial to both sexes. When a big game comes on television, let the man have a party. Make some nachos and get an ice chest of beer.

Really, go the whole nine yards: chips, pizza, etc. Most importantly, disappear during the game. He and his friends will appreciate the food and the non-interference.

How does this benefit the woman?

After a satisfying party, a man should feel more than obligated to return the favor. Perhaps as thanks, he will go to a play, enjoy a musical or watch an episode of “The Gilmore Girls.”

This is how a relationship works. Each member takes an interest in the other’s pleasures. I think this would be a nice way to develop a relationship. And, hey, the Sugar and Super bowls are right around the corner.

For those women who might not understand men’s love of sports, let me explain it this way: Watching sports is like going shopping. Men encourage women to watch sports but would rather she (unless she really is interested in the game) keep the vocal participation to a minimum.

Just like a woman wants the man to go shopping but would never allow him to voice his own opinion about what clothes he wants to wear.

I hope I have further improved some relationships with these helpful hints. I would like to reiterate that I do not hate women. I am not chauvinistic, but only pursue the betterment of relationships in dealing with watching sports.

With this column, I still might not get a date, but at least, just maybe, my fellow man can watch his game in peace – hopefully with beer in hand.