When the weekend ends and it comes time for the Sunday coffee date with best friends, there is always the story about the person at the party that just would not stop touching. About the guy friend that just decided this was the time to voice his frustrations over just being your friend and nothing more. There are the people that figure a choice of a tube top means it’s okay to give shoulder rubs regardless of whether or not it was requested.

It’s wonderful to daydream about a world where people have a universal understanding that some things are okay and others are wrong, but the world unfortunately does not work that way.

The bell that rings at Take Back the Night serves as a reminder that every two minutes someone is sexually assaulted. In a world that has watches more advanced than a computer from the 90s, it is astounding that people still cannot comprehend the mysterious enigma that is personal boundaries.

It astounds me that people cannot see girls hunched and closing in on themselves while a guy is talking to them and making them uncomfortable. That people cannot see when someone is being terse because they do not wish to continue the conversation. That the people feeling uncomfortable still feel like they are simply being nice by allowing themselves to remain in discomfort when they really have no obligation to deal with anything that they do not want to.

People never owe anything to anyone in terms of social contact. People have the rights to their own bodies, minds and mouths and are free to do most anything that they please with them.

Last year, I made the decision to speak out over my sexual assault at Take Back the Night. I had actually never really addressed the moment so directly before. I had told close friends, significant others and my dog — but I would always dismiss it directly after with the usual:

“Oh, she couldn’t tell — it was kind of my fault for not being more serious about it.”

“Well, she stopped and said sorry right when she noticed I was crying, so clearly she cared — she just didn’t notice at first.”

The dismissive statements were endless. Without realizing it, I had made the event as trivial as a drink spilled on my dress at a party. It was a confession with an immediate apology – what did I need to still be upset about? I needed to be upset because my body has no reason to be mistreated. I needed to be upset because I had let someone get away with violating my body and me as if it was acceptable. I need to be upset because I needed to realize that I deserved respect.

I would love to think that maybe if I had spoken to that person about how her actions made me feel that maybe I would feel a little better about what happened to me, but the fact of the matter is that I never did.

My silence is just like the silence of many others that go through the trauma of being physically violated. I still wonder what personal issues would have never manifested if I had just taken action.

I think it is time that people stop treating disrespected boundaries like something normal. It should not be a standard topic of conversation like bad haircuts or horrible customer service experiences.

Sexual assault in all forms is a big deal. Like an infection, it spreads its negativity into several aspects of a person’s well-being in ways that are unimaginable, surprising, and traumatic. To normalize and deny the disrespect of our boundaries does nothing to stop the unacceptable behavior of others.

Teachers do not rectify a student’s misconduct with inaction; likewise, people should never simply accept the misconduct of others. Rather, people should immediately speak out to either completely stop or inform the offender whenever their behavior is causing discomfort in any way.