Krewe du Vieux kicks off Mardi Gras each year as a locals-dominated parade before all the tourists pour in from Anywhere, U.S.A., ready to lift their shirts at the drop of a bead.

Krewe du Vieux is known for sticking to the satirical parade tradition, often having floats parodying major local and national political figures, and an abundance of anti-FEMA and Road Home floats following Katrina. In addition to political satire, the parade is full of perversion- all in good fun, of course. Joining the marching bands and assorted krewes are phallic-themed floats: many are in the shape of human genitalia and The Mystic Krewe of Spermies (whose theme this year is Spermies: The White Album) march with suspended sperm banners in hand (just to give you an idea).

This year’s Krewe du Vieux theme is “The Magical Misery Tour,” typical for this parade’s undertone of cynicism.

It’s not all negative, though-after all, it is Mardi Gras.

Marching in the parade this year will be Trombone Shorty, Treme Brass Band, Hot 8 Brass Band, Rebirth Brass Band and The Soul Rebels, just to name a few. They start in the Marigny Triangle and end in the Lower French Quarter. Be sure to make a game plan before it gets too late. When you pick a spot, stand your ground, and if you go to a bar for a drink, be prepared to wait for it. Molly’s At the Market down to Aunt Tiki’s will be overflowing with parade-goers.

The king this year is Lower 9th Ward resident Ronald W. Lewis, who serves as director of the House of Dance and Feathers and president of the Big 9 Social Aid and Pleasure Club.

When you’ve had your fill of trumpets, beads and vulgarity, you can head over to 2121 Chartres St., at the corner of Elysian Fields, for the after party, Krewe du Vieux Doo. Tickets are sold for $25 dollars at Mardi Gras Zone, Louisiana Music Factory, Up in Smoke, or Miss Claudia’s Vintage Clothing and Costumes. You can expect to hear sets by 101 Runners, Juice, J.D. Hill, Honey Island Swamp Band and a late night performance by Quintron and Miss Pussycat.

Some krewes to look forward to this Vieux are L.E.W.D: David Vitter’s Lonely Whore’s Club, Mama Roux: We All Live in a Jello Shot Machine, and Underwear: Can Buy Me Love.

It ain’t nothin’ but a party.

Sally Tunmer can be reached at [email protected].