Recently, I was sitting down on the benches in front of the library whilst smoking a cigarette, reading a Donna Tartt novel and just minding my own business in general, when a couple of young men in fraternity shirts walked by.
Generally the presence of fraternity and sorority members makes me only a little angry, but this time the silly kids thought it would be funny to cough and hack and carry on as though they were trying to escape a burning building. Naturally, they avoided the library like it was…well, like it was a library.
It was this blatant display of prejudice (I was sitting at a designated smoking area, after all) that suggested that it may be for everyone’s benefit, smokers and nonsmokers alike, for me to go over the finer points of smoking etiquette and policy.
I would like to first point out that designated smoking areas are inherently the turf of smokers, so if you are against smoking or want to avoid secondhand lung pleasure you should just, you know, stay away from those areas in general.
I know what you’re thinking: “But Chad, this is something that anyone with at least an IQ point already knows!” I am aware of this fact, but I may as well cover it now just in case those fraternity brothers I encountered learn how to read. And actually, that about covers it for nonsmokers, as far as rules go.
The real etiquette applies to people who do smoke, since some of you obviously haven’t been very nice to our fellow carcinogen-free classmates and since it is, in the end, a privilege to be able to smoke on campus. Being a smoker comes with certain responsibilities. For example, it is bad etiquette to smoke right next to doors. No one wants to leave a building only to run right into a wafting air biscuit left by someone with a cigarette.
The issue of walking to and from places with a cigarette in your hand is a grey area, in my opinion. Shuffling through a crowd while blowing smoke in everyone’s face is not very classy (unless you’re late to class), but if you can plan to walk where there aren’t many nonsmokers, such as in the various alleyways around campus, I say go for it. My reasoning is that much worse things than unexpected secondhand smoke can happen in alleys, so even nonsmokers should be appreciative of your company.
Finally, the greatest perceived smoking faux pas happens to lie with the issue of the Danna Center rocking chairs, so I will take this chance to clear up any confusion on the matter: if it’s raining or really late, it’s generally okay to sit and have a cigarette. Otherwise, sitting on one and having a smoke makes you fair game for an embarrassing reprimand from some other authority figure. I know that the rocking chairs are perfect for smoking, especially pipes; and I know that people who don’t smoke are definitely not enjoying the chairs correctly, but this is a classic example of not smoking by doors. Hopefully this clears some things up, broadens some horizons, opens some eyes, and gets delivered to those clever frat kids (you know who you are).
Chad Carlile can be reached at [email protected]
