As a sophomore at Loyola, I thirst for knowledge and search for my identity like many other students.
The life of a college student is too complicated to describe. We juggle too much (i.e. midterms, who’s going to The Boot and figuring MySpace layouts). On top of all that, we still keep an eye out for bachelors.
Yes, I’ve been reading the dating series in The Maroon. But I am an assertive, but not aggressive, girl who has always known what I wanted to be since I could speak – the next Connie Chung. No, I’m not here to bash the “Pathways” plan and the provost. I’m writing about making lemonade out of the lemons they handed me.
Honestly, I took the decision with a grain of salt and searched for alternatives. As a native New Orleanian, I was not going to let this challenge defeat me and change my life anymore than it already has.
A year later after Katrina, I went from being worried about 6363 St. Charles Ave. drowning in nine feet of Lake Pontchartrain water, to wondering what my “sequence” is going be. I felt like I lost a sense of security when it came to my career.
My conclusion after all this is: I hate being an adult. I remember when life was simpler. Back then there were no bills, no boyfriends and fewer responsibilities.
I turned to my mother for advice, and she told me that sometimes over-thinking can be a double-edge sword. “Go with the flow, Rosie. Do what you love and get paid for it,” mother said.
Honestly, years ago I thought college was a cross between “Dawson’s Creek” and “Felicity.” I was anxious to join sororities and party until dawn, but little did I know that college was more of pulling all-nighters and having writer’s block in the middle of a 15-page report. Two years have passed and I have learned that procrastination is every college student’s best friend. So here I am, at the blackjack table on my 21st birthday and I thought, “Gee, I still don’t know what I’m doing.”
What do we do when our dreams are stolen from us? What do we do when we are shortchanged and not prepared for the fall? I do not have the a philosophical answer, but I do remember telling myself that I’ll think about it later and it will come to me. Later is laughing at in my face.
So, feelings of desperation linger on my mind daily about what I’m going to do with my life. Pressure consumes me, even though I’ve taken all the logical steps, including making a meticulous chart of pros and cons, and have taken advice from everyone, from my classmates down to my magic 8-ball. I keep waiting for a sign to tell me what to do.
Am I being paranoid? I understand there is no “sequence” that is a perfect prescription for what I truly want to become. However, I feel my dreams have been crushed and now I’m left with struggle and fear of making the wrong choice – choosing a career because of the dollar signs.
Twenty years from now, will I be sitting in a cubicle waiting for 5 p.m., or will I travel around the world and become Katie Couric’s co-anchor on the “CBS Evening News”? But that’s what’s life about, right? Taking risks.
A classmate once told me: “Never settle, and you’ll get exactly what you want.” The quote actually applies to everything in life, from picking your jeans to your life partner. Yes, choosing my sequence is a life decision for me because my education defines me, much more than my X-Terra and iPod playlist. Until then, my Facebook status will still say, “Out: Searching for my Pathway.”
Rosie N. Dao is a mass communication sophomore from New Orleans.
