I’m pretty sure you could hear the gasps that resonated throughout campus when students discovered Facebook.com’s News Feed. Students were shocked to log on to their favorite procrastination tool to discover that it had become a cluttered mess of information detailing their friends’ online habits.
The “Stalker Feed,” as some have begun to call it, doesn’t discriminate: Something as insignificant as someone declining a group invitation is “news” in Facebook world.
And while I’m amused at the typical college photo album – you know, the ones that feature pictures of girls at bars, holding drinks or throwing up gang signs – as much as the next person, being notified when each album of this nature is created is a bit excessive.
Response to the changes was overwhelming. Students mobilized dissenters under group names including “Facebook, You’ve Gone Too Far This Time,” “Students Against the Facebook Facelift,” and my personal favorite, “THE NEW FACEBOOK IS GAY, STALKERISH AND ALL AROUND CREEPY!” Clearly, students were pissed.
This leads me to conclude that the only way to rouse the apathetic college crowd is by messing with Facebook. Politicians, take note. This could be the key to winning the demographic that is historically absent from the polls. Threaten to tag pictures of non-voters in which they look fat or unattractive. You might just be our next president.
Facebook creator Mark Zuckerburg, somehow unfazed by the frenzy, has yet to really amend any of the changes. He’s apparently implemented some new privacy features, but he hasn’t gotten rid of the News Feed altogether.
His inaction really doesn’t surprise me. There’s obviously something wrong with this man. Anyone who believes that the fact that some girl in my history class whom I’ve never spoken to has added “kayaking” to her list of interests merits “news” status is clearly out of touch with reality.
Doesn’t Zuckerburg realize that he’s made stalking easier than ever? As if it wasn’t easy enough to stalk people the old fashion way on a campus about the size of a large high school, now tracking complete strangers is about as simple as checking your e-mail.
He started by implementing small features with huge stalker-ish implications, such as the ability to post one’s class schedule, job information and summer plans. Then, it was the Status feature, which enabled users to reveal their whereabouts to the Facebook public. Now, with News Feed, Facebook has become the epicenter for on-campus stalkers. And just because Dateline hasn’t outed them yet, these college predators still pose a threat.
The sad thing is that despite how ridiculous Facebook gets, we’re all still going to use it anyway. Facebook is like that boyfriend that consistently screws up, but somehow always keeps us coming back. Yes, maybe it’s gotten confusing and creepy. But at the end of the day, we know we can’t change Facebook, so we’re just going to have to love it the way it is, even if it makes us angry at times. I know I still will.
So I guess this means that as for my current relationship status with Facebook: It’s complicated.
