Jerry Bruckheimer’s “Déjà Vu,” directed by Tony Scott and starring Denzel Washington, was probably one of the biggest boosters to the New Orleans economy since the city reopened. Millions of Hollywood dollars were poured into Crescent City businesses in the filming process, helping us get back on our feet.

For that, I applaud this film with a clap. Not two, just one.

Why? Because the plot was absolutely laughable. Time travel and a thin love connection based on nothing more than the curves of the sexy Paula Patton are the weak driving forces behind the action. And there’s an overly psychotic Jim Caviezel – who is more of an angry recreation of Timothy McVeigh – blowing up the Canal Street Ferry in the first few minutes of the movie for no particular reason at all.

The film follows ATF agent Doug Carlin (played by Washington) as he investigates the aftermath of the bombing, while additionally picking up the investigation of the same-day death of Claire Kuchever (played by Patton), thinking the two crimes might be linked.

In order to assist, the FBI lets him in on a government secret – a giant machine of blinking lights and television screens that allows the feds to see exactly four-and-a-half days back in time. Using this … thing, they hope to find the perpetrator and solve the mystery.

Of course, that’s really, really far-fetched. The thought that such a machine exists, and wouldn’t be used on a widespread scale for crime investigation, is a little absurd. But it’s Denzel, so we’ll suspend belief.

Over days of observation, Carlin falls for the soon-to-be-dead Kuchever, and begins to develop a motivation for the prevention of her death. Having no idea how the time thing works, he manages to convince the FBI to allow him to be a guinea pig for the first human time travel so that he can save the beautiful woman.

Again, really far-fetched. It’s a little ridiculous to think the FBI would have a machine that can monitor a point back in time, and wouldn’t immediately try to send someone or something into the past. Even the explanation for how they do it is a little weak, and the audience, for the most part, just has to nod and smile.

But again, it’s Denzel, so we’ll allow it.

The biggest disappointment was in the film’s failed physics of time-travel. Despite the writers’ ability to remember the surgeon general’s warning found in all time-travel films – having the characters constantly remind us that altering the past could drastically alter the future – little thought was put into the causal relation behind the message. It seemed like the writers just ignored causality for convenience sake, making this film more formulated than innovating, and more explosion-based than anchored in deep thinking.

This time, Denzel alone can’t save this film from its own idiocy. In fact, it was a disappointment to see all of the big names involved in something so finger-painted. The talent was there, and everyone played a convincing role. But it was wasted on a bizarre episode of “Quantum Leap”, or some other show you’d expect to see on daytime television. Maybe primetime Fox, but only because of the high-end budget.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I did not like this film, I do want it to succeed at the box office so that other production companies will come down and block off sections of the Quarter for big-budget films. The more money spent in this city, the better the recovery effort will be.

So go down to Clearview or Elmwood, and spend your money. Then leave after the coming attractions. You won’t miss anything. I promise.

Colin Lacy can be reached at [email protected].