Dear Editor:
I have noticed that student health has become a reoccurring topic here at The Maroon, and so I felt it best to write to you about how the health clinic almost killed me. Yes, those bastards almost killed me.
It all happened a couple months back, when I had a sore throat. I thought it was strep or something. So I went in. I had already been involved in another giant ring-around-the-stupids with the health clinic the previous year, but my throat was really bad and I had a gig coming up, so I had to go in. Same as last time: the whole bunch was off lollygagging. I had to come back the next day.
They finally saw me and I filled out this form, where I checked that I was allergic to Penicillin. Then I met with the nurse, and she asked me, “Are you allergic to anything?” I said “Yeah, Penicillin.”
She said “OK.” She then asked me a bunch of other questions and then she stuck a light in my mouth and told me I had some kind of bacteria.
She gave me a prescription called Amoxicillin. I took this prescription over to the Walgreens on Claiborne and Carrollton. When I walked out with them, this lady chased after me.
She proceeds to explain to me that I’m allergic to Penicillin, which means Amoxicillin too. And so I’m thinking “Damn, these health clinic fools need to get their act together–got me going all the way down to Walgreens, with these gas prices, almost killin’ me, or if not killed then all whacked out with red and blue spots. I got this gig comin’ up, feels like the Sahara in there.” Hmm. Fed up and skeptical, I decided to fight the bacteria on my own – with a little help from Google.
You know, I hear about errors like this all the time. They told my friend once she was pregnant. Scared her to death. But you know what? She wasn’t pregnant at all.
Just what exactly is going on in the clinic? It is obvious that there have been constant, reoccurring problems with the staffing and operations of the student health clinic. I suggest a serious inquiry be conducted by the University. Let’s sniff out the stupids and send them a’ packin’.
Dutifully,
Noah Adams
music industry senior
