A white bear – or, perhaps, a director wearing a bear’s head for reasons known only to himself – took to Smoker’s Alley to discuss prejudice against bears, his recent diet and, most importantly, his role in the Department of Drama and Speech’s production of Shakespeare’s “The Winter’s Tale.”

“I prepared some questions you might want to ask,” the bear said, shuffling through a pack of note cards with talking points written on them. “It’s very hard to talk to a bear for the first time.”

He immediately mentioned his role in the play, saying that it was a “small part” but adding that he was pleased to be included.

“How many plays do you have with bears in them?” he asked. “My five seconds on stage is the most exciting part of the play. I chase an actor off stage and then I eat him – I devour him.”

Often squishing his face in order to clearly read his notes, he decried what he called a “tremendous bear prejudice.”

“When’s the last time The Times-Picayune or The Maroon interviewed a bear?” he asked pointedly.

He said that although his role was “the best part of the show,” he would make some editorial changes to “The Winter’s Tale.”

“I will never direct a play that only has a bear on stage for five seconds,” he said. “It will be a solo performance, basically.”

For those interested in seeing the bear in action, there are two more performances: Friday and Saturday night, both at 8 p.m.

Kelly Brown can be reached at [email protected].