Recently, Thesmokinggun.com reported that purple velour funk dynamo Prince is being sued by Utah Jazz power forward Carlos Boozer.
The suit filed by “The C Booz Multifamily I, LLC” alleges that Prince, who was renting the West Hollywood property from Boozer for $70,000 a month, violated his eight-month lease by painting the exterior of the house (yeah, that color) with striping, a Prince symbol and the numbers 3121 (an apparent advertisement for Prince’s new album “3121”).
Other allegations within the suit include: “installing plumbing and piping in downstairs bedroom for water transfer and beauty salon chairs”; “removing carpet in master bedroom and replacing it with purple monogrammed carpet”; “removing baseboards from downstairs bedroom and cutting a large whole in the wall.” Because, you know, sometimes Prince just needs a big hole in the wall.
Let’s take a moment to fully digest those facts.
So Prince is really a renter? Carlos Boozer is a landlord? Isn’t Boozer the same guy who went back on a deal with an old blind man (Cleveland Cavaliers owner Gordon Gund)? How can you sign a lease with someone who is willing to screw the elderly and the blind, even if you are Prince?
The complaining party is “The C Booz Multifamily I, LLC.” I wish I could think of something funnier to say, but I believe the name just speaks for itself.
I know Boozer went to Duke, but who was his coach again? It wasn’t that guy who says he arms his kids with more than just a jump shot was it? Boozer stabs an old blind man in the back, and now he’s suing Prince. Isn’t that Coach K fellow supposed to prepare his players for “life as a person, not just as a basketball player” or does that statement imply preparing them for litigation as well (“J.J., Shelden, listen up. Remember, limited liability company, OK? Protect your assets … OK, let’s work on the pick and roll.”)?
I know that 99.5 percent of those reading have thought of this joke already, but do you suppose Boozer is just mad at Prince and his posse because they could probably school him on the court? Hey, all I’m saying is I hear ‘The Revolution’ can ball … Do you think pancakes were served?
Can you even begin to imagine having Prince as a tenant? How many times do you think Boozer got a call in the middle of the night because Prince locked himself out – “(Trademark Prince squeal) Cah-los, I need new keeeeeys, pleeeeease.”
This has just made my year, really. I can’t stop thinking about it. I could very well wind up alone in a dark alleyway living out of a cardboard box because I wasted away my life thinking of Prince-Boozer jokes. It’s just that good. But I do hope the two find their own separate peace eventually.
Who knows, with any luck a peaceful resolution will be struck. Hopefully soon, though; Boozer, and anyone associated with Duke, is desperately in need of purifying themselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
