Keeping with the holiday spirit, I would like to present you with a Valentine’s Day rant. I would like to passionately complain about how this feeling that passes for love among young and old alike is about as special as a coupon to Burger King.
I would love to fervently carry on about my intense hatred of commercialism and how factory-made greeting cards are destroying holidays all over America. I would like to, but truthfully, if I did that, then I would be a hypocrite.
Like most, I’ve mistaken shallow infatuation for something more. Like even more, I appreciate the convenience of everything I’ve ever dreamed of saying to my significant other expressed for me in a card with a picture of a cartoon gorilla in hot pants and a sound clip from “Jungle Love” available at Wal-Mart for $3.99. Those sound-clip cards express my feelings better than I ever could.
I’ve noticed that for some reason or another, a lot of people feel really strongly about Valentine’s Day. These people fall into two categories: the romantics and the cynics.
The romantics are the kinds of people who think that Valentine’s Day is a beautiful invention, as it celebrates love. These people often seem to be the type who feels that the holiday somehow increases the likelihood of the love of their life appearing out of the blue and sweeping them off of their feet.
These ardent believers in the 14th of February are in love with the idea of love. Just thinking about heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and gushy cards makes them feel as warm and fuzzy as the over-sized stuffed bears from Walgreens that squeal “I love you” when their paws are squeezed.
The cynics, obviously, are just the opposite. They believe that Valentine’s Day is a scam invented by Hallmark and Godiva in order to cheapen human emotion while making money. The chocolates and stuffed animals that bring joy to romantics only serve to create a nauseous feeling amongst cynics. They may be the Valentine’s equivalent of Ebenezer Scrooge, but many are proud to use the 14th to celebrate their unattached relationship statuses with Beyoncé’s “All the Single Ladies” as their anthem.
Like many, I fall into neither of these categories. I fall into the obligatory none-of-the-above category that automatically spawns when anyone ever makes a blanket statement about the two types of people in the world. The particular group that I fall into is characterized by my indifference toward Cupid’s big day.
If it weren’t for the onslaught of pink and red glittering I-love-you’s and be-mine’s that has recently sprouted up at every store in the United States, I would most likely be unaware that Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching.
While I do feel that there is some truth in the complaint that Valentine’s Day is an overlycommercialized holiday, I also really like chocolate. I especially enjoy the fancy chocolate that is put on clearance after Valentine’s Day. Though I am far from a hopeless romantic, I think that Valentine’s Day certainly does have its good points.
Holly Combs can be reached at
