Editor’s note: This is the second installment of a semi-monthly column answering Loyola students’ questions about sex and relationships on campus.

Dear Jodi,

So here it goes. I am a 20-year-old virgin and think I am ready to begin a sexual relationship. I have been thinking about having sex for some time now. I think I have prepared myself enough, but I need to know if I am actually ready to go through with it. How should I go about this? I am ready to have sex, help me!

– Ready and Rarin’

Dear Ready and Rarin,

Well, that’s a great question that I am glad to introduce to everyone out there in your situation.

First, you have to know that these feelings you’re having are completely normal.

You’re not dirty or a “bad Christian” for thinking this way. You are 20 years old. Of course you’re going to want to have sex soon.

In this day and age of “Desperate (Sex-Crazed) Housewives,” “Grey’s Anatomy” elevator sex and every hip-hop song on your iTunes, many people are having sex too early for the wrong reasons, facing consequences like pregnancy and STDs.

I’ve asked for the assistance of AJ Sepulveda, psychology junior and aspiring sex therapist, in answering this question. She also volunteers at Planned Parenthood, which is very helpful to us in answering your question about having sex.

So, you’re wondering how you should go about this. There are three things you need to think about before you do anything. You need to think about how this is going to affect you mentally and physically, and you need to know how to protect yourself.

First and foremost, Sepulveda thinks that sex of any kind should always be mutual.

“One of the biggest mistakes people make is not being mentally ready, males and females alike,” Sepulveda said. “A socially constructed idea about sexual activity in college is that the newfound opportunities means lack of attachment and, whether people want to believe or not, there seems to be some sort of emotional attachment, even if for a moment.”

She and I agree with being friends with the person first, so that if the experience is terrible, you won’t regret it because you experienced it with a good friend.

You and a friend will always experience a far closer bond that someone you have just started a relationship with. We’re not ruling out having sexual experiences with a partner, but if that is not a real option for you, the friend thing will lessen feelings of anxiety.

But always remember that communication, even awkward communication, is key.

“You don’t want for your first time to be unwelcome, unpleasant and regretful,” Sepulveda said. A lot of us non-virgins have unpleasant first-time stories. We want to avoid that with you at all costs.

OK, secondly – prepare yourself, because here comes the physical part – there are many different types of sexual activity. Oral sex, anal sex and vaginal sex are three ways that one can experience sex.

However, Sepulveda insists, “foreplay can just as easily cause one to lose their virginity.”

OK, look out, because it is going to get technical for the female readers here for a second.

“From what I understand, virginity isn’t a biological term, but the point in which a woman’s hymen … is intact until broken,” said Sepulveda. But then again, experts insist that it can be broken during simple physical activities such as horseback riding or gymnastics.

A lot of women who have lost their virginity cannot even recall breaking their hymen during intercourse. But for women, I think that the mental aspect of being scared or nervous about pleasing their partner surpasses the physical anxiety.

A male losing his virginity is quite a different experience.

Men who have lost their virginity often had a difficult time reaching orgasm because, for many, nerves play a big role. Also, this is the first time that many males have worn a condom.

The only thing a male might experience is being uncomfortable for a moment or two, but like most guys, the moment passes and they realize they are having sex.

Oral sex is an option that a lot of people in college begin experimenting with. Some people consider it “going all the way” and some people don’t. If you would rather play around with this type of sex first, you can more easily discover what you enjoy and what else you might want to experience with your partner.

Thirdly, no matter how you choose to start experiencing sex, the best protection is supposed to be abstinence, because there’s no temptation and no risk, but since that doesn’t really apply in this case, there are several options to protect yourself and your partner.

“For men, protection can be used through condoms,” Sepulveda said. “But for women, protection can be used through the pill, a shot, the patch, vaginal ring,” and several other more surgical types of birth control.

But the best advice, without a doubt is, “Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool,” according to Sepulveda, and I agree.

The worst method of protection is withdrawal, or “pulling out.”

Just don’t do it.

There is enough sperm in pre-ejaculation to cause pregnancy, according to some research. Research your options, and you’ll find something that’s right for you. But no matter what, find something.

I really hope that this has helped you out. Remember, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin; after all, doesn’t the Jesuit tradition preach no sex until marriage? One of those guys must’ve gone to college, right?

Seriously, college students having sex is realistic. Just as long as you know your options and protect your body, you will find that this will be one of the most pleasant experiences of your lifetime, and you’ll be glad that you made this decision.

Sex is a wonderful thing that all people experience. Go forth and fornicate. Just remember, keep it classy Loyola.

AJ Sepulveda contributed to this column.

Have a relationship question for me? I’ll answer it. Write me at [email protected].