Loyola wants us to be well-rounded individuals by the time we are handed our diplomas. This is something the administration stresses, which is why we are required to take all those ridiculous common curriculum classes.

It seems to me, however, these core classes are severely lacking. Consider what a mass communication student has to take: philosophy, natural science, foreign language, etc. Where are classes that will benefit us in New Orleans and the real world?

Classes reflecting real life skills on how to survive in the Big Easy should be offered, as should be classes all freshmen should be required to take their first semester. Three that really deserve to be taught are cooking, driver’s education and bar etiquette.

Let’s be honest – most college students can’t cook worth beans … or can even cook beans. And by most, I mean me.

I seem to have a knack for kitchen catastrophes. I’ve been known to burn boil-in-a-bag rice and spaghetti and even evaporate entire pieces of chicken and pots of water.

How am I supposed to survive out there without being able to cook?

There is only so long I can eat nothing but cereal, sandwiches and soup – also known as my “safe” foods, things even I can’t mess up.

I want to be offered a cooking class so I can learn how to whip up an actual meal once in a while. Of course, we should be taught how to make New Orleans’ classics such as red beans and rice, jambalaya and gumbo. It would also be imperative to teach new students how to properly eat crawfish, as all seasoned students know how important crawfish boils are.

Also, we need to learn our way around the kitchen.

Recently, a friend (who happens to be 22) knocked on my door, holding a can of tuna and a hand-held can-opener. She had a bewildered expression on her face, saying her automatic can-opener had broken and that she had no idea how to work the manual one.

See why a cooking class is so important? Philosophy can’t teach you how to open tuna.

Another class that should be in our catalogue is driver’s ed. Loyola is full of out-of-state kids who don’t have a clue how to drive properly in this city. After all, most other major cities have functioning street lights, well-paved roads and properly marked streets. We should be taught how to dodge potholes while maneuvering one-way streets with no identifying street signs.

Most importantly, the art and strategy of parallel parking would have to be stressed. No longer would anyone have to suffer the embarrassment of having a crowd form while strangers yell directions as we helplessly attempt to parallel park. Not that that’s happened to me or anything.

Freshmen especially should have to take Bar Etiquette 101.

If you’ve ever been to The Boot or any other Uptown bar, you know the places are swarming with underage (and of-age) Tulane and Loyola kids who don’t know how to behave.

A personal pet peeve of mine is tall people who don’t seem to realize my head is at their elbow level. I am tired of being elbowed, tread on and having my hair pulled when it gets stuck on guys’ shirt buttons. Basically, the lesson here is to be aware of others in bars and do your best not to push, shove or step on anyone.

Of course, nothing is more annoying than an overly-drunk obnoxious person. Drinking in Bar Etiquette 101 would be encouraged, to help build up students’ tolerance levels.

Hopefully, one day Loyola will offer cooking, driving and drinking classes, so students will be able to eat, park and party like pros.

Meghan Wasson can be reached at [email protected].