In high school, the majority of my close friends were guys. But after several years of living with three other girls, I can safely say girls are now my closest friends.

Over those years we’ve talked about everything, but one topic that is recurring and reemerging with more frequency is marriage.

I found that marriage really is important to girls. A topic I hardly discussed with my guy friends, which is ironic since my best guy friend was the first person I knew to actually get married.
Now that the majority of people I know are beginning to graduate from college, hearing about engagements is less and less rare. Nonetheless, it shocks me. In my eyes, we are just so young and these couples are about to commit the rest of their lives to each other.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my whole wedding somewhat planned in my head and it is going to be the best party ever, but that’s all it is right now — a party — not a marriage.

Ever since I was a teenager attending weddings, I’ve always gotten the same feeling — a hybrid sentiment along the lines of claustrophobia and stage fright. My roommates say I have “marriage issues,” but I just don’t want to rush into anything. My family is pretty good at adding pressure though.

About a year ago, in the middle of a long-term relationship, my entire family began hassling me about my future plans for wedded bliss. The first time it happened it began with an “Oh, you’re graduating soon, when are you getting married?” Um, excuse me? Even now I can’t believe that my own family was encouraging me to consider marriage at 20.

That whole ordeal pushed me to take a step back and seriously think about marriage. Is it something I really want for myself someday or is it just a “next step” other people expect me to take?

My take on marriage is somewhat complex and I still haven’t quite figured it out, but I do know it isn’t something I want anytime soon. Right now it is too much fun discovering what I want out of life, and the beauty of it is that I can make any decisions freely — on my own. I might as well take advantage of that while I can, since it won’t last long. One of my roommates truly captured my sentiment nicely by saying: “I have to have a life, before I am a wife.”

But for all the people who are getting married soon — congratulations. I’ve always envied those who could make decisions without over-thinking them as much as I do.

After all, this is a matter that should be approached mostly with the heart.