I have found a new and improved means of procrastination. Thefacebook.com is the greatest thing to happen to me since instant messenger – which my friends and I discovered in middle school. There’s no greater feeling than writing a paragraph, logging onto Thefacebook.com and then prolonging the paper-writing process. Well, anything that prolongs the paper-writing process is a great thing – but that’s another story.

I know Thefacebook.com is all a giant popularity contest, but that’s what makes it fun. For those of us who were losers growing up, we can finally boost our egos by, literally, counting our friends.

Sure, it may be an inaccurate count since not all schools are on Thefacebook.com, and not every student at every school is signed up, but once you hit that “100 Friends” mark, you sure feel special.

The best part is making new friends. Everyone is rushing to have the most friends, so people you barely know and people who know you through so-and-so are asking to be your friend. It doesn’t matter that you never talk to them in person, they’re still your Thefacebook.com friend.

I find myself looking up old boyfriends and crushes, friends from first grade and people I didn’t necessarily get along with or like – just to see if I’m more successful than them.

Don’t hate me. I know it sounds like I need an ego check, but I bet you can’t say you have never compared yourself to that one person you loathed in sixth grade.

Look at it this way: in order for you to read the person’s profile, he or she has to be your friend. Even if you don’t like them, it ups your friend count. That’s two great points for one slightly catty point. Therefore, they will cancel each other out.

The first post on your board is a big deal, too. Mine wasn’t very personal – it was an order from a previously-addicted friend to make my profile “more interesting” so people would like me.

At first I thought, “Those who want to be my friend already like me.” But then I fell victim to the addiction that is Thefacebook.com. And I did improve my profile.

In fact, I change or add something almost every day. And I have to read everyone else’s changed/edited/improved profile every day too. But I’m comforted knowing that those who change their profile as often as I do are either as addicted or more addicted than I am.

The pictures are great. Just doing a search to find the funniest or the prettiest pictures on Thefacebook.com is as addictive as finding friends. There are people whose names you’ve heard, either from friends or teachers, and you can finally put a face to that name. Some of my friends like to check out the guys online – and guys, admit it, you check out the girls too.

Thefacebook.com has become my guilty pleasure. Who am I kidding? Thefacebook.com has become Loyola’s guilty pleasure – and our newest means of procrastination.