I’ve noticed something that may or may not be prevalent on every other college campus across the United States, but is certainly a prominent issue at a New Orleans-based university.
What sight is more common than Loyola students stumbling toward the dorms at four in the morning, silently sloshed or belligerently drunk, alone or in groups, light-heartedly laughing or crying hysterically?
The bars are well-attended every night, filled with music, dancing, conversation, flirting and social exchange beneath a heavy haze of alcohol and smoke.
These are things that New Orleans college students see consistently every night.
What you don’t see every day is small groups of students sitting and talking, genuine exchange of histories and ideas, people making connections that remain with or without inebriation.
Common invitations include, “Want to go to Quills?” not “Want to grab a coffee and get to know each other on a fundamental and personal level?”
Of course, this is an exaggeration, and deep connections with other people are rare and usually take a good bit of effort and communication.
But is it so difficult to have a dialogue that doesn’t begin with, “I was so wasted last night. Allow me to list for you the various drinks I consumed.”
You know you do it; I do it, too.
Granted, college, especially freshman year, is for going a little nuts. Drinking and partying are a good time, and there is definitely a kind of comradery in carrying home an incapacitated classmate.
I can’t deny that I’ve gone out many times with a group and could not remember the next day the names of half of the people I partied with, let alone their favorite color and novel.
Carefree partying is fun, no doubt.
However, I have to hope that there is something more elevated than the alcohol-soaked relationships that form a loose and unreliable hive of human connection revolving around college bars. Having a few drinks with acquaintances or friends can lead to liberated, free-flowing conversation.
After a while it can also lead to some of the most unbelievably mindless drunken blather to ever spill into the smoky air of Tuck’s. Sure, alcohol can make you honest and witty, but it can also make you pick fights and pole dance.
I’m not suggesting that everyone stop drinking or even alter your partying habits in any way.
I’m just saying that we may want to stop substituting bar buddies for real friends, stop thinking of that kid who pumped the keg for you as your blood brother and start making real connections with people.
Maybe start trying to bond with the kids you can both party with and call upon when you need a real friend.
Getting to know people is a rush, and sometimes it may be nice to do so when the experience isn’t numbed by a shot or four of tequila.
So, try striking up a sober conversation. You may just gain a good friend without the massive hangover.