“Maggie,” it always starts out, “I have something to tell you.”
I’m thinking loss of employment, failing a class, maybe commitment to a psychiatric ward or a terminal illness.
After several minutes of sighs and hesitant looks, it comes out in either a defeated exhalation or a meek whisper: “I think that I might be gay.”
I’ve had this conversation at least seven times now. Friends and acquaintances feel comfortable coming to me about this subject, and I am more than happy to listen and give any advice I can conjure. What bothers me endlessly, however, is that the first advice I often have to give is: “Take a deep breath. You aren’t going to die.”
What bothers me is that a small statement about the possibility of sexual deviation has to be this dramatic, heart-rending confession. Why is it such a big deal?
Granted, for some people this revelation could mean awful reactions from friends and family, major emotional issues or even complete alienation from everything familiar. Those kinds of situations do deserve a sense of solemnity and seriousness. However, the majority of the people I have had this conversation with are from semi-liberal, unconditionally loving environments. In their cases, the admission of homosexuality might shake things up a bit, but the effects would in no way be proportional to their initial fears.
I’ve seen people all but hyperventilate over the realization, question their value as human beings and give up all hope of family or a normal life. One girl asked me if she’d have to cut her hair short, and another lamented over and over, “Why is this happening to me?”
I picture a scene out of “28 Days Later” with a dramatic close-up of a contorted face screaming, “They’re infected with … GAY!” Then a sweeping shot of an enormous mob of homosexual stereotypes: effeminate men and masculine women sprinting to the beat of Cher remixes and the Indigo Girls, looking for the next innocent victim to devour. I feel like this is how homosexuality is treated sometimes – like a plague that, once it enters your life, will slowly ruin everything around you until the entire country is made up of ravenous gay zombies.
I am in now way minimizing the plight of the gay community. Prejudice and discrimination against minorities are rampant and should be fought and changed.
Like I said, sexual realization does require some gravity, but what has to be remembered is that your sexuality is about .06 percent of who you are.
Who you are attracted to does not dictate a lifestyle, as Jimmy Swaggart would have you believe, nor does it mean a significant change in everyday life. It can make social situations a little weird at times, especially around more conservative persons, but if you are surrounded by good people who genuinely care for you, it won’t make much of a difference.
All I’m saying is that, with world hunger, war, tsunamis and poverty, homosexuality is the least of our fears, and if being gay is the biggest problem you have all day, I’d say you’re doing pretty well. So, should you yourself have some sort of sexual realization, quell the urge to scream: “Run, save yourselves! I’m already lost!”
