Chances are you’ve heard enough about “The Vagina Monologues.” If it wasn’t an issue last year, it’s been even more of a hazard this semester as our university president discovered he was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. Either way, enough is enough.
The good news is that while “The Vagina Monologues” inspired women by the droves, it also had an effect on men. A couple of guys were so inspired they decided it was time to tackle the other orifice of wonder and mystery, and thus we have “The Asshole Monologues.”
Irreverent and hilarious, “The Asshole Monologues” is now performing Thursday nights during April and May at the Monkey Hill Bar uptown. Running the monologues is Chris Rose, the reason to read the Times-Picayune, and RedBean, his 6-foot-4-inch and some 300 pound-plus companion on this exploration of the particulars of the posterior.
Like any monologue show, a definition of terms is necessary. Rose starts off with a list of synonyms for the asshole, encompassing the medical and the colloquial. Some, like the Hershey Highway, seem obvious enough while others, like balloon knot, really make you think.
The bulk of the show is anecdotes and stories Rose has collected throughout his years talking to people, reporting and keeping his eye out for funny stuff.
For instance, there’s the story of Tammy Jean Warner on trial for contributing to her husband’s fatal sherry enema. Or consider the operating room doctor, faced with the patient who inserted enough No. 2 pencils to necessitate medical care. When the doctor innocently asked, “Are they sharpened?” the patient angrily responded, “Are they sharpened? Do you think I’m crazy?”
The show is part what can be stuck where the sun don’t shine, but also everyday asshole business. RedBean tackles the issues of farting and relationships (“The way to the heart is through the fart”), soiled underwear and the indestructible nature of corn.
Chris Rose and his friend mikko saw “The Vagina Monologues” three years ago, and knew they needed to make the guy-friendly “The Asshole Monologues.” When mikko left town for some time, Rose brought in Redbean, and they wrote the show. The show had a long run at the Chat Noir before moving uptown to Monkey Hill.
Now drawing near the 100-performance mark, “The Asshole Monologues” are still going strong. Rose says he mixes stories up often to keep things interesting, which is no problem because he has no shortage of material.
The shows at Monkey Hill also feature special guest performers. Last week local actress and Loyola graduate Jesse Terrebonne took the stage to contribute some insight.
Can’t make it out to “The Asshole Monologues?” The duo is now working on a DVD release of the show for the masses.
But squeeze in the time, and make it out to the real thing.
I was intrigued by the concept and discovered “The Asshole Monologues” were right up my alley (hmm … that didn’t come out right). The conversational, unhurried and casual pace made for lighthearted entertainment, much like sitting around and listening to your friends tell dirty jokes.
The disclaimer is that the material in the show is risqué, but what isn’t this day and age? If you can do a show about vaginas, you certainly can pull one off about assholes.
Pat McDermott can be reached at [email protected].
