Dear Mayor Nagin,

Take it easy there, champ. Why don’t you sit the next few plays out, OK? No, we’re not mad at you, Mayor Nagin. We’re confused, but we’re not mad. We accept your apology, and we understand your remarks at the Martin Luther King Jr. Day rally were meant in a genial and non-combative nature. We even sort of understood your post-rally explanation (here’s a tip, though: Next time, just say chocolate milk or go with a more clear-cut mixture, like the crass but obvious black and white Oreo cookie.

But we still have a problem. The problem is that those sound bites, played on every newscast across the country, are falling on increasingly unsympathetic ears. Whoever said “any press is good press” had obviously never been in rebuilding mode.

To use a military term, we are in a battle for the hearts and minds of the nation. Every day, we are fighting to get Congress to invest the funds necessary to rebuild the city. “Invest” is the key word. Congress is just like any other investor, and it wants signs of stability before it pours money into the city.

Not to attack you, sir, but your remarks seem far from stable. We need good press. Speaking from the heart is always welcomed, especially from a politician. But maybe you could write down your thoughts beforehand and have someone look them over. Just please, no more “chocolate” sound bites.

We understand how hard it must be to be in your position right now. There are many differing opinions on how to rebuild the city, and you will never be able to please everyone. But until we are able to devise a plan of reconstruction that represents the greatest good for the greatest number of New Orleanians, the best thing that you can do is to provide a strong, stable front for all the world to see.

Until then, maybe you ought to take a rest and regroup for a little while. Maybe try some Kahlua in your hot chocolate.