I suck at fantasy football. My extensive knowledge about everything football amounts to nothing in the realm of the click-and-drag lineup.

Three of my 14 players are actually productive: Reggie Wayne, Matt Hasselbeck and Brandon Marshall. The other 11 players on my team, “Sack-Lunch,” are a bunch of big name, unproductive, injury-riddled losers. In a Yahoo Fantasy Football league of 10 teams, Sack-Lunch is 10th.

At quarterback, Hasselbeck has bailed me out through four weeks, but he will have a bye week eventually – which means in comes Marc Bulger. This clown has thrown two touchdowns and four interceptions. He has done nothing but disappoint the city of St. Louis and leave me angry.

At the receiver position I have a bunch of chumps. Donte Stallworth has less total yards than Randy Moss had his opening week. I thought all the attention on Moss would get this guy wide open, but it’s apparently just made it easier for every other receiver to catch the ball. Receiver Nate Burleson hasn’t been horrible, but he really hasn’t done anything good either. And finally, Calvin Johnson, who I thought was a good acquisition with pass-happy Jon Kitna throwing at him, got injured last week.

My tight ends do nothing for me. L.J. Smith sat on the sideline injured for the first month of football, giving me a whopping 26 receiving yards.

My other tight end is Desmond Clark, who I should’ve known was a bad choice with the Grossman/Griese tandem throwing the ball.

And, finally, there are my running backs. My God, how they suck. These guys are supposed to get you the big points. They don’t on my team. Prior to being injured, my running back Rudi Johnson had a game with 17 rush attempts for nine yards!

What do you do with a running back that gets half a yard a carry? Johnson doesn’t even have a touchdown. To round out my backs, Reggie Bush is under 100 yards in both rushing and receiving, and Julius Jones has been average at best this season.

It may be because I was late to my fantasy draft that my team is less than perfect, or perhaps it’s simply bad luck.

Regardless of the reason – I suck at fantasy football. If you’re interested in winning a game of fantasy football, see if you can join my league – Yahoo Public 677571, and play Sack-Lunch.

It’s a guaranteed confidence-booster to anyone having a bad day.