Let’s set the scene here. Imagine a college campus in ancient times – circa 1998. We hear the dulcet tones of Smashmouth as the camera swings down to reveal a group of – surprise – drunken students. Amazing, that these people are at some sort of organized gathering. No Facebook back in the elder days, you know.
Thus begins the latest self-proclaimed “romantic comedy event of the summer,” “Made of Honor” starring Patrick Dempsey. And as a warning to all you McDreamy fans out there: this movie is rough; it doesn’t showcase anything but Patrick Demsey.
The movie was billed as “Made of Honor” starring Patrick Dempsey – and some other chick. Not sure who she is, folks, but she’s pretty, and have we mentioned that Patrick Dempsey is in our movie? Honestly, they should have just cut their losses and called the movie Patrick Dempsey starring Patrick Dempsey, as people would line up for a movie about Patrick Dempsey playing hacky-sack in his bathroom by himself.
Unfortunately, however, that is not what he does in this movie. In this movie, he plays a millionaire playboy, the inventor of the coffee collar, that ingenious little strip of corrugated cardboard that prevents painful burns while you handle your piping-hot designer coffee. And in a sorrowful turn of events that was completely unpredictable, he has taken to sleeping with a different girl every night, which causes him to be – gasp – a pigheaded misogynist. This regrettable attitude towards women is no doubt influenced by his philandering father, King Henry VIII.
The only woman that seems to be safe from his amorous clutches is his essentially perfect best friend Hannah, played by Michelle Monaghan. Together they enjoy one of those highly improbable opposite-sex platonic relationships, which are again proven to be improbable when Tom proceeds to fall in love with her after she runs off to Scotland for some ridiculous reason.
And of course, she returns engaged to a strapping six-footer, Colin (Kevin McKidd), who eats haggis three meals a day and rescued her from her car on horseback during a simultaneous thunderstorm and dairy-cow ambush. Following this revelation, Tom (miraculously free of venereal diseases), resolves to put this wedding to a stop.
The rest of the movie is a veritable roller-coaster ride of sex-toy-wearing grandmas, gorgeous Scottish scenery and a mystic border collie that has some strange psychic connection with Patrick Dempsey.
Don’t be fooled, though. While the movie is predictable, it still manages to be funny. Busy Phillips as the spurned cousin of Hannah is particularly good, Patrick Dempsey is an extremely convincing actor and the shots of the Scottish highlands were fantastic. The movie could have been more dynamic, but it was still entertaining and would be a great date movie.
I couldn’t help but notice one thing, however. The movie bears an uncanny resemblance to the recent “27 Dresses,” starring Katherine Heigl. Grey’s Anatomy stars, flawed leading men, angelic leading ladies and even the same running joke about shortening bridesmaids dresses were in both movies. Patrick Dempsey’s high-pitched voice and obvious paunch were disappointing considering the amount of hype he gets, but I don’t imagine that will stop him from taking over the world.
“Patrick Dempsey Plays Hacky-Sack,” starring Patrick Dempsey: coming soon to a theater near you. Don’t look for me, though. I’ll be at “The Dark Knight”.
Sarah Wild can be contacted at [email protected].
