The current trademark infringement situation between North Carolina State University and Loyola brings up a lot of important questions. Why didn’t Loyola look into these matters when picking out a mascot? Is Sting going to join the legal fray, on behalf of his own Wolfpack? Did NC State really not hear of Loyola until recently?
More importantly, if things don’t turn out as well as Gregg Zarnstorff, trademark director for NC State, is leading us to believe it will, then what will we choose as our new mascot? Because let’s face it: pretty much all of the good ones are either taken or cliché, from the powerful (lions, tigers, etc.) to the astral (suns, comets, etc.) to the inappropriate (check out the Rhode Island School of Design’s mascot, the Scrotes).
We can’t even safely consider any vegetable as a mascot for fear of angering groups such as the Scottsdale Community College Artichokes of Arizona, or the Mississippi Delta State Fighting Okra.
Luckily, I have already worked out the best solution to this problem. In the event that we are forced to change our mascot from the Loyola Wolfpack, I say we should be called the Loyola Loyolas.
We would just have to find someone who is on the short side and put a huge bust of St. Ignatius Loyola over his head, then dress him up in simple maroon robes and have him cheering on the sidelines with the crowd.
For big rivalry games, we could have an alternate mascot uniform where Iggy (as we will probably continue calling him) is dressed up in a full suit of armor that is reminiscent of when he was fighting under Duke Antonio Manrique de Lara.
If the Loyolas win, the mascot will take off all of the armor and read the De Vita Christi. If we lose, we will have someone shoot him in the leg with a cannon, and the mascot will only be allowed to get medical treatment sans anesthesia.
Using this template, we can come up with all sorts of ideas to keep Loyola fans involved with school sports. We could arrange a whole slew of catchy Latin battle cries that, when screamed en masse, have the effect of freezing over the very souls of our opponents, even though the messages themselves will all fall within the boundaries of Jesuit traditions and teachings.
Like a well-oiled Catholic machine, we Loyolas will be able to strike both fear and love into the hearts of our opponents. But mostly fear.
Thus it is that the Loyolas would be a wonderful idea for a team name, especially for such a prestigious Jesuit university as Loyola. The best part is that implementing this plan will allow us to continue putting shirts and signs on the statue of Ignatius in front of the Danna Center, but with the added advantage of the act making much more sense.
Chad Carlile can be reached at
