Fest Etiquette and tips-and a few other things

As I walked into the French Quarter fest this past weekend, it occurred to me that this was exactly what we all needed-a free fest, great food and a reason for us all to come together. I didn’t really realize until now how important our fairs and fests really are, especially in these times. My husband and I are typically fixtures at these events, mainly because I love the fest food and he loves a reason to drink draft during the day (even if the music bites and the only thing to do is people watch).

This epiphany all came about as we walked past the tattered aquarium past the Coors Light stage where the Radiators were belting out some tunes. My sister (who unfortunately had to jump ship and relocate to BR for a decent paying job) turned to me and asked me why I was crying. I couldn’t figure out if it was the hormones (I did just have a baby and yes I am still hormonal) or if there was truly a spirit at these things that only those who decided to stay in this ship post-Katrina could truly understand. I think that I was crying because I saw a black man (who looked like a really cool jazz playing grandpa) and a larger-than-life white woman (adorned with the tacky fest attire) hugging and crying. I could only guess that they were long lost neighbors or friends seeing each other for the first time since this mess happened. I couldn’t stop the tears–it was ridiculous. I didn’t know these people from atom. I tried to explain to my sister that there is a spirit here, an unbroken spirit that you can only understand and truly appreciate if you love and have chosen to stay in New Orleans, despite the hurricane, despite the corrupt politicians and despite our present economy. But, after this epiphany passed, I had a few other thoughts about fest etiquette that we can all benefit from. Here are a few things that we should all consider before entering a fest. This will make all of our fest experiences 100% better guaranteed.#1 If you see a line, PLEASE do not step in front of someone without asking if they are in line. I want the fried crab cakes with crawfish sauce as much as you do, and I don’t want to have to tell you where to go if they run out right when I get my turn. Somehow this always happens to me. It must be bad luck because I sit in line and they always happen to run out of whatever I have been waiting for as soon as I get up there. Ah, and for the vendors, can you give us a little warning back there that there are only two servings left so that we aren’t so darned disappointed when we are turned away after the 10 minute wait?#2 If you see an alternative route to the gridlock (typically occurring right in front of the food/beer booths, port-o-pots and exits) by all means take it, but DO NOT run into people or jump in front of me (especially now that I am armed with stroller) we are all trying to get out of it just like you and no one likes to be brushing up to strange sweaty people, so just be patient and leave a few feet of room for me and my stroller.#3 BRING YOUR OWN FEST CHAIR. No one likes to share the fest chair, especially men who feel like they need to give it up to the first woman not prepared with fest chair—they are $9.99 at Save-A-Center so invest in one and keep it in your trunk.#4 If you are going to smoke whatever it is that you care to smoke please ask your immediate neighbors if they would either like to share in what your smoking or just step away from the crowd and smoke somewhere else. Has anyone heard of the Clean Air Act??? I hate cigarette smoke in my face and I bet that many others do too. #5 By all means, please make friends with those around you. I swear that I see the same repeat players at these events every year. I feel like I know these people personally.#6 NEVER EVER put the toilet seat down in a Port-o-Pot. People, this is a non-stop pit stop, not your home toilet. No need to put the lid down like mama taught you. I unfortunately never look down when entering the POP (we all know why) and it gets very messy if the seat is down and you don’t look first#7 Please, do not bring outside beverages if possible. I say, have a few before you get there and one on the way, but it is pretty obvious to those who choose to support these things that when Coors sponsors the event and you have a 32 oz Bud, you are not supporting the fest…It is tacky. PS I am a hypocrite because I have found very interesting ways to smuggle in my own beer in the fest chair or handbag in the past, but I am reformed now. If I can do it, so can you#8 ALWAYS smile at people. If you have a nasty look on your face, you are going to get one back. Ladies, this is especially helpful if you are single. I know this because I have gotten quite a few offers by doing this. No need for match.com when you’ve got an event like this to meet someone…#9 Pack sunscreen and bug spray and share with others. Is it me, or is it getting hotter here or maybe it is just the ozone deteriorating.. And are those mosquitoes getting fatter or what?And finally #10 Get your family from the burbs who are afraid of the fests to join you. I guarantee that 9 out of 10 will agree that these mass picnics are awesome, despite the heat, the few inconsiderate folks, and the skeeters. Someone told me at the FQF that “you are awesome because you are here”. I think that he said that because I was holding my little preemie. By the way, this is an excellent place to showcase babies and dogs. But, he could have meant just that…we are awesome because we are here…see you at the fest…and remember to bring your camera…Angie B. HofferDirector of Admissions and Student ServicesA’99, G’03