It’s a pretty widespread opinion that waking up in the morning is less than enjoyable.
Sometimes, the reasons are obvious: hangovers, late-night cram sessions, some recent indiscretion lying next to you, etc. Still, even without these minor inconveniences, there is one thing which always guarantees that my morning will suck.
For almost five years, my mornings have been plagued by war-torn Israel, polarizing politicians and arbitrary reviews of movies I’ll never want to see. Why do I put myself through such torture? More importantly, why does reading the news give me the equivalent of morning sickness?
After 9/11, I secretly began reading The New York Times. Secretly, I say, because although I live in neighboring New Jersey, my neo-fascist, right-wing father would probably disown me. Anyway, I was a freshman in high school and thought it would be a sign of maturity and my fledgling elitism to be a Times reader.
It quickly lost its novelty.
Though I have been diligent in my daily reading even after half a decade, this has never become comfortably habitual. One reason is because it requires too much thinking and deliberation. The other reason has taken me almost this long to admit: I could care less about the news. That’s not to say I think it’s meaningless or isn’t worth discussing, but I lack a passion for news.
I have little conviction in what news I read, and I’m sure that I will have even less after completing a major in journalism. Basically, reading the news is like many adult behaviors – all work and no reward. I find that the main difference between an average reader and me is that I feel I am getting nothing out of it, yet I continue to do it.
Most people, I feel, are looking for some self-affirmation in their news. They scan the headlines for something that proves: A) Bush is the devil, B) Bush is our savior, C) Armageddon is coming (my grandparents) or D) they are pretentious snobs who are obsessed with appearing cultured and well informed, yet lack any genuine opinions or ideals. I feel I am dangerously close to the lattermost category.
As I mentioned before, though, I am not looking for self-affirmation in my newspaper. Well, that’s not true; it affirms my cynical, defeatist attitude when I find myself wishing I could just be ignorant and sleep an extra twenty minutes. I could also try to watch CNN or CNBC, except that I despise televised news. It’s all sound bites and flashy things and anchors spending eight seconds on a story when they should be spending eight minutes.
Then, you switch over to Comedy Central and watch Jon Stewart report that story verbatim on a FAKE NEWS SHOW (which I love, by the way). Regardless, these are several reasons why news networks piss me off, that and they are killing print journalism. Face it. Your TV is pretty much a toaster that makes pictures instead of toast.
But anyway, at this point I’m not sure why the act of reading the paper makes me squeamish. Maybe it’s because I really do care about the news, and I hate feeling so affected by things I cannot control. Maybe it’s my almost-paranoid level of skepticism that makes me believe that all media are actually propaganda. Both options are pretty hopeless.
Still, no matter how I feel, I still read the paper, as everyone should. It’s not fun and it’s rarely rewarding, but it’s our responsibility as members of an organized society to be informed. No one said you had to like your vegetables; they just said you had to eat them, or you didn’t get any ice cream.
Therefore, I don’t feel like a bad American for not liking the news. The fact that I choke it down without ice cream is enough to quiet my conscience.
Nicole Mundy can be reached at [email protected]
