A French Canadian has changed my life. No, not Celine. She no longer returns my phone calls, and her lawyers and I have long since put that incident behind us. The French Canadian I speak of is a far greater human being with, I believe, a much greater contribution to society. That man is named Raphael.

Raphael, a 28-year-old amateur hockey player desperate for a shot at the pros, did what any warm-blooded athlete/sports fan with a slight chemical imbalance has always wanted to do. He took his game to the big boys.

Dressed in full hockey gear, Raphael crashed the party on Monday, when he interrupted a Montreal Canadiens practice to take on former Hart and Vezina Trophy winner Jose Theodore.

According to the Associated Press, Raphael took to the ice during a lull in practice. Equipped with his own stick and puck, he took off for the net where Theodore, the all-star goalie, was waiting. Theodore poke-checked him. Apparently unfazed, Raphael regrouped and sent a wrist-shot at the net, which Theodore easily deflected.

Here’s what Theodore told reporters: “He came at me with his head down so I just wanted to say ‘Welcome to the big boys.’ I poke-checked him to say, ‘You have to keep your head up.’ When he came back, I thought about going out of the net and not playing into his game, but then I thought he had the [courage] to go on the ice, so I let him have a free shot at me.”

Raphael, who was promptly wrestled to the boards by Canadiens coach Claude Julien, looked at his experience a little differently. “He’s a great goalie,” he told reporters. But he added that he didn’t score because, “I didn’t have enough time.”

I could go into great detail about how much I love this man, but The Maroon is published by Jesuits and my mom might be reading this and it’s not like we’re in Vermont, people. Let’s just agree that my feelings are nothing short of hero-worship.

What makes me so happy, and a little bit scared, about Raphael’s stunt is that I too have dreams of making it big. I see something in this potentially crazy man that reminds me a little of myself and several other people I know. Sure, I may have only been the sixth-string linebacker on my high school football team, and, yes, I was what you might call a bench warmer even in little league, and, OK, I am pretty consistently the last one picked for a pickup game of anything, but I do put myself out there. I like sports, and if I concentrate real hard I can almost hit a jump shot.

Like Raphael, all I need is a little more time, and I think I can take on the big guys. I don’t know it for a fact, but I’m pretty sure I could guard one of the slower, fatter, older guys in the NBA. And something inside me says I can probably get a hit off Randy Johnson if he has been pitching every inning of a double header, and I catch a change-up down the heart of the plate. It’s not hubris. To me it’s just logic (or as everyone else calls it, stupidity).

I’d like to believe that the world is full of people like Raphael – people who go after their dreams, even if it means looking like a total lunatic.

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I have to work on my jump shot. The Hornets are coming in March.