The power of “no”

Don’t be afraid to let go of commitments that no longer bring you happiness or satisfaction

Staff

We’re in the middle of November, and suddenly everything seems like it’s about to cave in around us.

We say this because we know the feeling all too well, and we know that it’s likely you’re suffering from some mild case of the November blues yourself. You’re stressed.

School is in high gear with projects, papers and extracurriculars. Meanwhile, life shows no signs of slowing down for you. Before you know it, you’re going through the motions just to keep yourself afloat. You wake up, go to school, work, sleep and then, repeat. At some point, you have to stop and ask yourself: Am I happy?

If your answer is anything short of an emphatic “yes,” then it’s time to reconsider your life and the things you’ve committed to. Think of it as “Spring cleaning,” except it’s Fall and no one is asking you to do the dishes.

What we’re suggesting is that you take the time to reconsider the things you’re currently engaged with, be they work or relationships or some kind of extracurricular activity.

So often we’re told to find pride in our consistency and to involve ourselves in as many things as possible. And so often, we’re expected to stick through with these commitments, not for the sake of our own happiness or for the commitment itself, but merely because anything less than full participation is seen as quitting, and quitting is a failure.

But we’re here to call that mentality into question. If something in your life is no longer bringing you happiness, fulfillment or helping you to achieve something you desire, then we suggest that you say goodbye to it. There’s nothing wrong with walking away from something that makes you unhappy.

It certainly doesn’t make you a failure.

Think of it this way: If your friend were unhappily involved in a relationship destined for disappointment, would you encourage that friend to remain there? Would you call them a quitter?

We hope your answer would be a resounding “no.”

So why should you force yourself to stick around in a relationship that makes you unhappy — be it romantic or academic?

Unhappiness doesn’t manifest itself so obviously. If you find yourself simply going through the motions of your daily routine- — doing things because you’re so used to doing them and because they bring you some kind of satisfaction — then we hate to break it to you, but it’s time to bid that commitment adieu.

You’ll be amazed at how empowering this can be: the act of saying “no” to something that doesn’t make you happy. Don’t worry so much about disappointing others or feeling guilty.

At some point, we have to step back from a situation and take ourselves into account. Are we happy? If we aren’t, then how can we expect to make others happy?

If we aren’t in a good place ourselves, then we are in no position to try to do the same for others.

Don’t expect to lie yourself through the rest of the semester. Bad faith can only take you so far. Now is the time to let go of whatever it is that no longer brings you happiness.

Seriously. Try it. Just say “no.”