Adam Reiner, veteran of top New York restaurants recently wrote an article for the Wall Street Journal about what the waitstaff really thinks about their guests. Reiner spoke on how a successful dining experience comes from work on both ends.
I love the idea that dining is not just a service but a collaboration between both parties. It almost feels like a piece of art brought together by teamwork and some good food. It was a unique piece, as usually the focus is entirely on the customer rather than the people behind the scenes. Collaboration is not only about customer behavior but mutual awareness. Servers need to read customers’ cues without rushing them and customers need to communicate without belittling their server. A good meal depends less on who is right and more on a team effort to create a great dining experience. My dad and I came across this piece in the Sunday paper at brunch, and wound up in a long conversation about waiting habits. If dining is a collaboration, I have a few thoughts from the other side of the table.
How about the awkward moment when the waiter asks you if you’re done with a look of fierce judgment in their eyes, and you’ve only taken a few bites? Maybe I was full, maybe my eyes were bigger than my stomach, maybe I’m suddenly self-conscious, who knows. Sometimes I love the meal, but I simply wanted a few bites. My family has always been very big on ordering several dishes and sharing them. Sometimes when we’re at a good restaurant, we order a few extra dishes just to try, but can’t finish them all. I always find myself shifting my gaze down as they pick up the unfinished plates with resentment in their eyes. To all the waiters out there, I promise I loved the dish; I just wasn’t that hungry.
When I’m feeling a little indecisive and not having my sharpest days, I may need a little more time to think about my order. When my waiter begins to circle my table like a shark to its prey, there has to be a happy medium where the waiter knows when to come back, and I don’t feel like the menu is a final exam I have yet to study for, and the waiter is my teacher, glaring down in disappointment.
Why must the waiter walk past the table with the most beautifully smelling full tray of dishes right as I have reached a state of pure hunger and then drop it at the table next to me – the audacity. Is there another route they could’ve taken to spare me from that deep feeling of misery? I can’t keep letting delicious food pass me by; I must seize the bite.
In all transparency, I worked as a hostess for a month and couldn’t make it past that without shedding a few tears, so I understand some of that judgment may be well deserved. The balance of customers rushing in, slippery floors, and no time for a bathroom break is not a battle I hope to fight again soon. There’s a system for seating but for me that was all out the window once a few too many people walked in. The service industry is not for the faint of heart, and waiters deserve all the respect in the world. At the end of the day, they’re just trying to do their job, and the rest of us are just trying to eat. Maybe it’s not so bad to collaborate and have a little patience. If we all work together the dining experience can be smoother and more enjoyable for both parties.
