I’m not sure how many New Year’s resolutions I’ve had in my lifetime, but I know that I have yet to stay true to a single one.

In 2009, I set the bar low: my New Year’s resolution was simply to eat more peaches. I like peaches, so this should have been easy enough; yet somehow I cannot truthfully say that I consumed any more peaches in 2009 than I did in years before.

Last year, I set the bar even lower by making no resolution at all, which was sort of anti-climactic, but at least I didn’t let myself down.

This year I’m on the fence about New Year’s resolutions. I want to make one, but I also want it to be something that I’ll be able to keep with minimal effort. So, what does that leave me with?

I’m a messy insomniac with poor time management skills who lives off Sour Patch Kids; I have more than my fair share of bad habits that I should someday fix.

Considering that I spent the past thirty-six hours playing Paper Mario instead of sleeping or writing this article, procrastinating less and focusing more on my health would both be good candidates for this year’s resolution.

A sleep schedule may be something that I could work on, but I really won’t be able to work on that until I’m able to find my mattress in the cesspool of books, clothing, and old homework assignments that is my room.

Realistically, though, it seems unlikely that I’ll go out of my way to fix any of these issues. Kicking bad habits is hard, and I’m just not that dedicated.

I can say that I’m going to be healthier, more organized, and better at sleeping during normal hours, but come February I’ll forget all about my promises to myself.

I can already see it: I’ll skip working out and stay up all night making a dress out of shredded newspaper and hot glue for no particular reason, and I won’t clean up the resulting mess for at least a month.

I could just say that this year’s resolution is to eat more carrots and leave it at that, but after the peaches fiasco of ’09, I know better.

And so, for 2011, I, Holly Combs, hereby resolve to make fewer promises to myself that I do not intend to keep. Holly Combs can

Holly Combs can be reached at [email protected]